“Who I Am” Out Now

I'm on a journey...

to make my dreams come true...

I never would've made such an ambitious goal. In fact, I was perfectly happy living life as it was. I had a job, some relationships, some type of spirituality. I had issues, but for the most part, I was able to keep them at bay.

However, underneath it all, I was always on the verge of some breakdown. In fact, some sort of depression and ups and downs were common in my life. Until a deep depression set it. A kind that I couldn't just snap out of. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I needed to come back to life.

I couldn't live in that depression any longer. It went on for years. And if I'm being honest, I've lived a sad life for way too long. 

I've accomplished so much on the outside, but never true happiness on the inside. I wasn't happy from the inside out. 

Thus my solution, I was inspired by God to do things I love! Literally! I had to rediscover my spirit. Who I was, what I loved. I had to rediscover that I deserved to be happy and full of life!

Do what you love.

I did some soul searching. For some reason it wasn't easy, but I eventually got on a roll of discovering what I like. Then I didn't deprive myself of any good thing. In my past, I was infamous for being so hard and stingy with myself.

New life

I applied for and got a job that's always energized me. I started serving at a restaurant again. And not just any restaurant. A Mexican restaurant because I LOVE Mexican food! 

Then I started making friends. Real friends where I can be myself and they know and love me for me and I know and love them for them. This was a new thing for me.

I let myself enjoy my precious family. Instead of simply fulfilling family roles and responsibilities, I was intentional in bonding with them and enjoying them. Oh it's changed my home life! It's full of laughter, playfulness, and teamwork.

Once a week, I take myself out on a fun day! I realized this is essential for my unique personality. I wander. Go to a coffee shop. Maybe shop. I dream. Create. I let myself be free. This new habit has been pivotal in my battle against depression.

Lastly, I let myself do what I've always loved doing. What I would do if money didn't matter. That thing I would've regretted if I didn't do it in my lifetime...

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:19

Jamie’s Blog Entries