My Spiritual Journey

This page may not be for everyone, but I thought I’d share in case it’s helpful for anyone. My journey was full of loneliness, isolation, depression, insecurity, sickness from as early as I can remember. I was struggling in many ways despite what my outward appearance showed. And it was never meant to be that way.

The struggle never decreased only increased. It became more difficult in high school, amped up in college. In college I started searching for relief. Negative methods and more positive ones like meditation. I would even go into churches to just sit there and cry. I would cry out to I think God. I wasn’t really sure who was listening.

I guess I was pretty resilient because I was able to carry on in life for a little bit more while carrying heavy burdens.

And then around the time my life started to grow: when I got married, got pregnant, then had a baby, I realized I couldn’t carry all my unresolved inner struggles while welcoming the new wonderful blessings in my life. It was too much. I couldn’t enjoy what I had because my past heavy burdens were weighing me down.

My life came undone. Too hard to manage. I was desperate. That’s when I was willing to listen to advice from others. I’m as stubborn and prideful as can be. And my heart was also thickly guarded. I’ve never really let anyone truly in. Until my life came undone.

My husband told me I should go to church, but not like I did when I was a kid, going out of obligation and fear. I should go for healing. I should go for love.

Long story short, I let my husband in. We became true partners. I let God in. Going to a good church for the right reasons gave me an open mind and heart to receive healing and love from a powerful and loving God. And it didn’t stop there. I am amazed daily how more and more healing continues to be ushered in my life. The ability to let people in is a miracle for me. The ability to do simple things like manage money and save is a miracle. (Y’all should’ve seen my credit card bills after college!) The ability to overcome deep issues that I thought would never go away is a miracle.

I share this not to brag at what God has done in my life. It’s amazing how he’s cleaned house in every area of my life and he continues to. I share this to spread hope of what he can do with any situation in anyone’s life. I truly believe there is no issue God can’t fix. And I’m not saying this because I have faith in God, I’m saying this because I’ve seen it happen in my own life.

My practice is simple: I listen to people who care about me, I go to church most weeks, I read this beautiful book full of life called the Bible, Jesus is my best friend and savior, I tell him everything and I’ve learned how to listen to his voice and follow his advice for my life and loved ones. This practice keeps me healthy, loved, strong, wise in my imperfect but beautiful journey. It keeps me equipped with everything life can throw at me. It’s made me confident that no matter what Jesus is with me and helps me.