Life hit rock bottom and then I needed to recover from that rock bottom. After recovering and surprisingly being healthier than I’ve ever been, I felt a whisper that I should pray about the thing I’ve always wanted to do. I was opposed to this idea. I’ve always wanted to pursue music, tried 3 times, and failed. I did not want to be heart broken and confused again. But I felt a strong impression to pray about doing the thing I’ve always wanted to do. After a few moments of hesitating, but feeling super excited, a little fearful, but overall good, I did a whisper prayer, “Jesus, I would love to sing.”

Even writing this is crazy. I think something happens when you say or write what you want. It makes it possible that that thing will happen. After I said it, I had a feeling that it would actually happen.

Not long after that, I hosted a concert in my house with family and friends singing songs I’ve written. Now this was not a quick success story where I wanted to do something and did it. This was my idea to actually get me to sing. I was so afraid to do it and I knew I needed help. I needed encouragement. I was reading the Bible one night and came across a Bible verse.

“ ‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’ ” Luke‬ ‭13‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This might sound like a stretch, but in my soul this is what it meant to me. You have this goal, this gift. You should fertilize it. I looked up what the word fertilizer meant in simple words and it means “do something to help something grow.” And the idea that came to my mind was to sing to my loved ones in my house and see how they respond.

They loved it and were so encouraging! It worked. I was ready to go for it. I started to get my plans and songs ready. By May 2023, I got a job to become a music teacher and got my application accepted to perform at the local farmers market for the year. After performing live for a season, I decided I also want to start recording music. I eventually realized that an acquaintance I’ve known for a year records music and she told me everything I need to know about it. She even shared her music producer with me who has produced my first 3 singles so far. And now I’m ready to play live again and fun gigs are coming to me.

It’s been a fun journey so far. I share not just for the sake of sharing my story, but to hopefully ignite a light in you. What do you dream of doing? Or what do you love to do? What work needs to be done to clear the way to get to it?

For me, I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy learning about negative behavior patterns, origins, and how to heal and undo those. And then I started going to these women’s Bible studies and enjoyed being in women groups for the first time. I’ve been going for 3 years now. The moment where I felt Jesus whisper in my heart to pray about my desire to sing happened at a women’s Bible Study at the beginning of 2023. The book we were going through was called “Discerning the Voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer. And sweet moments and things keep happening as I take one step forward at a time.

It’s been a fun and interesting journey so far. It’s why I go to bed and catch myself with a big smile on my face now and then. I’m excited to see where this journey keeps taking me.