I worked myself to the ground. I didn’t know how to limit myself. I prided myself on being a straight A student, going to UC Berkeley, going to the Haas School of Business. How I got there was working myself without limits. Perhaps many people can achieve whatever they want if they ignored themselves and kept working.

This was my way of life ever since I was a teenager. This was my way of life even during pregnancy when I stopped working. When my child was born, I worked myself without limits. Didn’t ask for help. And mentally broke down.

Fast forward many years later, this month I went to my neighbors wine night and she asked all the ladies what we would be awarded a gold medal for. Mine is mental wellness. After over 2 decades of ignoring my mind and body and suffering consequences for it, I’ve made mental wellness my priority.

Here are some things, tools, tricks I practice:

• Be honest if I’m not well. I name it. I typically say it out loud. “I’m not well.” Or “I feel sick”. And that enables me to take care of myself to get well.
• Rest when I feel I got nothing left.
• If I got nothing left and I absolutely can’t stop and rest, I rely on Jesus to give me the strength to do what I need to do and do it well.
• I cancel things on my calendar or rsvp no. I’ve been fortunate to have friends and family be so understanding when I do this. Because they know I don’t do it with a light heart. They know either I’m not well and just can’t or I need alone time to be well.
• I work within my energy levels. I put a percentage on what I can give 100%, 75, 50, 25, and so on and so forth. Typically the beginning of the day is 100%. Towards the end of the day it’s 20%. On bad days, sometimes I’m at 5%. And surprisingly when I work within what I can give, everyone’s happier all around. When I’m at 20% and try to give 100% hardly anything works out and I’m frustrated.
• I surround myself with good family and friends. This used to not be me because of negative relationship experiences, but now I’ve been able to let people in. I’ve learned how to be in healthy relationships and give and receive in the wonderful experience of community.
• Sometimes I don’t know what to do and I do these to cover 3 bases: pray, praise, serve. In prayer, I get healing in solitude with Jesus. Just to get centered, be in His presence, hear His voice, share my heart. I do all of that or sometimes I stick with just one. For example, I experience healing and receive peace of mind just being in Jesus’ presence. In praise, I like to sing songs called worship songs to just sing with all my heart in gratitude to God for who He is and all He’s done. And serving, which is basically acts of service or kindness, is awesome. This was a big one at the beginning of me getting out of severe depression. I got so stuck on thinking of all the things going wrong in my life. My thought life was on negative repeat on all those things day in and day out. A way to break through was to see others and do good. I gave gifts baskets to business owners, welcome gifts to new neighbors. Now it can be as simple as saying hi to people or being available to friends and families needs.
• And last for this post, there are many more things I do. Wellness is just my lifestyle now, but I also receive services from individual therapists, family therapists, psychiatrists, and life coaches whenever needed, just like that, like a checkup at the doctors.

You’re worth it. Your wellness is important. It’s never too early to do something to get yourself well and never too late to start.